Tag Archives: women

Spurred on By Republican Hate Speech – Muslims Become the New N-Word In America

About 20 years ago, I was doing a project down in Mississippi. My coworker from the client side was a black man, call him Joe (imagine the kind of slow talking, quiet guy that when he says something, it is well worth listening to), and an Iranian who had come to the country after the Shah had fallen. Our Persian co-worker was amazed at the “friendliness” of the white southerners we met, The fact that they spoke, and almost always said hello, please, and Thank You. Joe explained that in the south, manners were a standard by which many people judged themselves and those they met. Didn’t mean they liked you, or wanted to invite you home to join the family. At which out rather dark skinned Persian co-worker declared that Persians were “white”. Joe laughed, and explained…”Down here we got black folks, and we go white folks, and “other”. And ‘other’ in your case is what the rednecks down here call ‘A-Rab’, which means if the isht hits the fan down here…Ain’t nobody coming to help you.”

Since that time, several hundred thousand Muslims have moved to America from other parts of the Middle East, including Iraq. Like any immigrant group to America, they are first met with insensitivity born of ignorance, and then hate, usually followed by grudging respect when the rest of America readjusts their “head” about such group. Doesn’t mean the ethno-racism, or color racism goes away…

Except when Politicians or Political parties make that racism “Acceptable”…

The next thing Muslim immigrants are going to have to realize, is the bigots go after the weak and defenseless, not someone who can fight back. As such, they are going to have to learn the lessons that black folks (and immigrants) learned a long time ago, yet again in protecting women and children.

Muslim student nearly run over by man who called her a terrorist: ‘I’m terrified to cross the street now’

A Muslim pre-med student said she was nearly run over and killed by a man who called her a terrorist.

Haneen Jasim said she was wearing her hijab as she walked home Saturday night from studying at a Starbucks near the University of Cincinnati, reported WLWT-TV.

The 22-year-old student said the driver started honking his horn, cursing and calling her a terrorist as she crossed the street — and then he drove straight toward her and didn’t stop.

Three people walking in front of Jasim grabbed her and pulled her onto the sidewalk just before the car struck her.

“Within an instant he tried to run over me,” Jasim said. “If it wasn’t for the three people in front of me, grabbing me onto the sidewalk, I would have been dead right there.”

Jasim said the man drove away before she could read his license plate number, and she wasn’t sure police could help her without that information.

So she instead called the Council on American Islamic Relations, whose officials said this was the third such incident of anti-Muslim harassment reported in Cincinnati since the Nov. 13 terrorist attacks in Paris.

“It’s very disappointing, as well that people in our community would stoop so low,” said Karen Dabdoub, executive director of the local CAIR chapter. “Obviously, the people here had nothing to do with the Paris attack or any terrorist attacks or terrorist ideology for that matter.”


Dabdoub said a Muslim woman was assaulted in a Kroger parking lot in the city’s Hyde Park neighborhood, and another Musli woman was insulted and spat on by someone in a passing car.


Posted by on November 23, 2015 in Domestic terrorism


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Dress for Success?

The Nehru Suit. Apparently some manufacturers are still trying to bring them back.

Went out on one of those computer board “dates” the other day to a lunch with a woman I had met online. Since it was lunch, and a workday – I wore what I normally wear to work… Which is business casual, with the usual attached company badge. The restaurant was a strip mall joint – nothing fancy. The woman in question made a snide comment about my “not dressing up”. In her occupation as an educator, I guess she had never been exposed to the tech world. I gave up explaining what I do a long time ago to non-technical people – leaning towards the “something with computers” amorphism.

I do have and sometimes wear suits in appropriate situations, and in my collection of 10-15, they range from Jos A Banks to Anderson & Sheppard bespoke – typically chosen on the basis of the old business adage – “slightly out dress your customer”. Ergo don’t wear a $10,000 Rubinacci to a meet and greet with your Government clients (wear you Banks), while it is the low end in some boardrooms. The nice thing about Rubinacci is they don’t put their label inside the suit, unless you ask. If you know the fabric look and feel of a high quality suit, you can figure it out (from across the street) even if you don’t know the maker. I have had a few knowledgeable women surreptitiously actually check the label inside the jacket.

Have a friend who was a marketer in the Music Industry years ago. Don’t know if anyone remembers Nehru suits, but they were a big fad back in the early 70’s. My friend flew up o NYC to the Garment district and had a set of 5 made. The problem being after one summer they promptly “went out of style”, leaving him with a closet of expensive unwearable suits.

And about the lady who complained? Needless to say it was a one-dater.

Oh no! Not the Polo shirts!

Polo shirt debate: Dating deal-breaker or still in style?

Love it or hate it, the polo shirt has cemented its role in fashion and pop culture — evoking images of WASPy jocks, prep school suck-ups, Best Buy employees and old-moneyed yacht owners across America.

Ralph Lauren, who helped propel the silhouette from a practical sport shirt (worn by tennis, golf and polo players alike), to an everyday wardrobe staple, is retiring from his Polo-branded empire this year. And as sad as it is to see the fashion legend hang his equestrian-inspired hat, I say it’s time to retire the polo shirt with him.

I know I’m not the only one who finds this casual take on the collared shirt to be a bit offensive. Maybe not as bad as sneakers with dress pants or baggy pants worn low enough to show your boxers … but about as offensive as a single item of men’s clothing can be.

The polo wearer has been made fun of on TV (Blake’s triple polo in “Wet Hot American Summer,” we’re looking at you) and in the movies (Steve Carell’s character in “The 40-Year Old Version” sports a polo shirt in all of the movie posters. As does his pre-makeover character in “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” See a pattern here?). And the ’80s popped-collar polo will forever be seen as the ultimate in obnoxious yuppie styling.

Furthermore, a writer for Real Simple magazine recently cited the polo shirt as a dating dealbreaker — until she discovered that her own personal McDreamy had a closet full of them. But you can always change the way your man dresses, right?

Well, maybe not. My cousin and her fiancé approached me the other day, just as I was about to head to the airport for a flight home. “We need your opinion,” my cousin explained. As I prepared to dole out wedding advice, I was surprised to hear her ask, “What do you think of Robert’s shirt? Can you explain to him that he can’t wear these polo shirts anymore, please?”

While the middle of their relationship is quite literally the last place I want to be, I couldn’t help but (silently) agree with my cousin. Polo shirts belong back in the frat house or exclusively on the golf course, polo field or tennis court where their practical nature can be put to good use. So, unless you are literally picking up a mallet, tennis racket or golf club right now, delve deeper in your closet and find something else to wear. Polo shirts may be the uniform of choice for The Sport of Kings (aka, horse racing), but it’s unacceptable for a family dinner, the office or Sunday brunch.


Posted by on October 19, 2015 in and the Single Life


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Women in the STEM Disciplines

As a guy who has a daughter pursuing advanced degrees in one of the Science-Technology-Engineering-Math (STEM) fields, and having spent most of my professional career in Hi-Tech – I can appreciate this one from a male Mechanical Engineering student, Jared Mauldin, at Eastern Washington University, which was published in the school paper…


Black females (as well as black males) also face the additional burden of race, and low expectations, in terms of academic performance and ability. Good to see recognition of some of this.


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Posted by on October 9, 2015 in The Post-Racial Life


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Take Away His “Man Card”

Yeah …That was misogynist! “Feminism” in a whole new light. Two women take down a 50 year old man and rob him old style (no guns or knives).

Then a brother walks by, and seems to do nothing but offer to assist…

Welcome to NOLA!

These two could be onto something lucrative, after spending the next few years in jail for posing so well for the nice camera which also got their license plate number…

But guy…You ain’t seen that comin’ when the heavier one snuck directly behind you? You get a F-minus for street smarts. And that “Smartphone” is now sitting in the bottom of Lake Pontchartrain.

And the brother walking down the street…Shame.

You two “ladies” make my “Domestic Terrorism” list…

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Posted by on October 8, 2015 in Domestic terrorism


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Trump Goes There on Carly Fiorina’s Looks

Not that Trump would be on my list of guys I believe the ladies would find handsome…But Dayam!

TRUMP: Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?! I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not s’posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?

I mean…This is the guy who purportedly has offered the Snow Heaux (Sarah Palin, head MILF to the old white guy set) a cabinet position!

I met Carly back in her Lucent days, before she got stupid joining the Republicans. She was one of the smartest people in the room at that time, and was highly respected by both her troops and peers. While I doubt her ability to lead the country, in large part due to her complete meltdown at Hewlett Packard…But comparing her to Palin, is like comparing Einstein to a brickbat.


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Picking Up that Check on the First Date

The author of this piece believes that men should always pick up the check on the first date. Have to disagree with this analysis, for a couple of reasons based on several scenarios.

Met through Online Dating Service – Many people now meet through dating services online. Their first date is indeed the first time they have seen each other in person. Statistics show that these dates typically occur within 7-14 days of meeting online. The so called “Starbucks Date” really is a first meeting. Splitting the check in my view is appropriate, in that this may be the first and last date based on mutual chemistry. Everybody having skin in the game tends to keep both sides honest. Have met women who lied about their age, lied about their looks, and lied about their background – and from feedback from women, that is certainly true on the guy’s side as well.

Picking up the check on any subsequent date is appropriate, based on who initiates it. And no, I for one am not dropping $300+ to go to a five star restaurant until I am sure that interest is returned.

Met in Person – If a guy meets a woman through Church, work, club, or social contact – then the guy should pick up the check. You have developed some chemistry and interest. You asked her out. Showing appreciation is appropriate. What you do after that is a mutual decision. Since I tend to date  women who are professionals themselves near my age bracket, they tend to want to establish their independence through either sometimes picking up the check or contributing. I don’t expect it or require it to continue the relationship – but doing so establishes a level of mutual respect, interest, and financial responsibility in that I know every dime she earns isn’t going into those $300 High-heel sneakers, or cute little BMW out in the parking lot. If she is after a long term relationship and not just sex – then I know she is checking me out on the same basis.

Attention, straight men dating women: Here’s why they still — yes, still — expect you to pick up the check

Aside from whether men should hold the door for women, few seemingly frivolous issues have fanned the flames of anti-feminism as much as who should pay for dates between men and women. It’s a subject that seems to never die — see yesterday’s Guardian feature on “Paying while dating” — because there are always a subset of men who insist that it’s absolutely unfair that as the world has gotten closer to gender equality, men are still expected to pick up the check. A 2014 NerdWallet studyfound that 77 percent of over 1,000 U.S. respondents expected men to pick up the check on a first date. Most likely, they will continue to be—perhaps not forever, but certainly for the here and now.

Why? News flash: it’s not about the money, it’s about what the money signifies. “The man should pay on the first date, always. It’s meant to set the tone—that this is and was a date, not a networking opportunity or a new friendship,” founder of online dating concierge service eFlirt and author of “Love @ First Click,” told Salon. “It speaks to a man’s values and shows that he is a gentleman. Most first dates are just a few cocktails, so this shouldn’t be a burden for men. Beyond a first date, the rules change a bit though and it depends on what you do together. For example, if it’s dinner and an after-dinner cocktail for a second date, it’s great for the woman to pay for the cocktails at the second destination. Or, she could plan and pay for the third date. Ultimately, paying the bill on a date shows appreciation. It’s a gesture to let someone know you’re interested in them and appreciate them. That’s why I never suggest splitting the bill. A date should feel like a treat and it doesn’t when it becomes an accounting transaction.”

I have to agree based on my own experience. Showing you’ve thought about the other person is what matters, and on a first date, paying is a way to do that. If you don’t have a lot of money, you can choose an inexpensive date so that you can cover the costs. I once went on a date to a free comedy show with a guy I met online. There were plenty of reasons the date was disastrous—think dead silence for up to ten minutes at a time—but the real rock bottom moment for me was when I said I was going up to the bar to get a drink and asked if he wanted anything (I wasn’t that thirsty but needed to break the tension). He said no but when I returned and reported that the bartender had generously comped my seltzer, he said he wished he’d known or he’d have ordered one! In that case, I was the one offering to pay, but instead of taking me up on it, he made himself seem like an extreme cheapskate. (Guys: don’t do this.)

Yet the who-should-pay decision is a conundrum, as dating and relationship expertWendy Newman, author of “121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love, and Live Happily After (Really!),” calls it, one that often leaves both men and women not completely satisfied. “When a man pays for a string of dates for strangers and experiences entitlement or isn’t thanked or appreciated for these efforts it can burn him out. When a woman isn’t treated, often times she doesn’t feel special or cared for,” said Newman.

As further proof that it’s not about money, Los Angeles-based dating expert and radio personality Erin Tillman, who’s single, says “I’ve been on coffee dates with guys where they didn’t pay for my coffee.” That is definitely not the way to go if you want a second date—with Tillman or most women. Based on her own dating history and her clients’ experiences, Tillman told Salon, “if he doesn’t offer to pay, it’s definitely a turnoff.” As she sees it, “It sets a guy up for success. You don’t want to do anything that’s going to ruin your chances of dating someone.” She suggests the guy pay for the first month, or until you’ve established that you’re in a committed relationship.…More…


Posted by on August 30, 2015 in and the Single Life


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Target Stores Discrimination Settlement

Target, one of the ubiquitous big box retailers has settled a Discrimination lawsuit based on their hiring and promotion practices.It is not clear whether the process implemented by Target’s HR department was intended to be discriminatory, or the department personnel weren’t sufficiently cognizant of the rules and methodology to test a process to know.

Well meaning try by Target – but it misses the ethnic difference between different Latin communities. Hispanics are the descendants of Spanish Colonial settlers and are white. Latinos are defined by region – ergo they come from various areas of Latin America. Latinos, at least in the US (and some Latin countries) are considered white. Which leaves the whole issue of description of the indigenous peoples, and the folks descended from African slaves at issue.


Target ‘Screened Out’ Black, Asian, and Women Job Applicants

Target Corp. will pay $2.8 million total to more than 3,000 job applicants who vied for upper-level management positions but were “disproportionately screened out” by an application test, the Minneapolis Area Office of the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) announced Monday.

The screened-out groups included Black, Asian, and women job applicants. The EEOC complaint against Target was filed in 2006.

Target’s $2.8 million settlement, which will be disbursed among the applicants, is one of the highest for discriminatory practices in history according to the EEOC, as many large corporations and companies have settled for less than $1 million. Molly Snyder, a spokesperson for Target, told the Star Tribune that the application tests in question are no longer used by the multi-billion dollar corporation.

The application tests given to those applying for management positions at Target didn’t include egregiously discriminatory questions, but proved concerning to EEOC officials because of their overall effect on the application pool.

“The tests were not sufficiently job-related,” Julie Schmid, acting director of the EEOC in Minneapolis, said in an interview with the Star Tribune. “It’s not something in particular about the contents of the tests. The tests on their face were neutral. Our statistical analysis showed an adverse impact” for Black, Asian, and women job candidates.

Schmid added that Target cooperated throughout the lengthy agency investigation.

The EEOC investigation into Target’s hiring practices also found that one of the corporation’s job assessments, performed by a psychologist, violated the federal Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). The assessment, subsequently stopped by Target, included a medical exam of job applicants that is expressively forbidden by ADA guidelines….

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Posted by on August 27, 2015 in The Post-Racial Life


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