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Race and Skin Color – Examining Internal Racism

Interesting article. The damage done by the days of the paper bag test is still with us.

Racism inherited (better described as colorism)…Is still racism.

The Secret Life of a Light-Skinned African-American Girl

I was always told I was black. I was black, but not quite black enough or not black black but still black to say the least. I was told that in my life, I would have certain privileges. Privileges that darker women would not be able to acquire and I should be grateful for that. I should be happy that I would be more desired for receptionist jobs and I should be overjoyed that if a white boy happened to like me, I would be eligible for a seat at family dinner because I’m not black black, remember?

I should appreciate the automatic assumptions that I am foreign, that if I have a weave it is my real hair, and that I’m way too narcissistic to give most boys the time of day. I should never ever complain about my skin because real black girls go through things every day that I will never be able to relate to.

I understand that my skin has privileged me in some ways. No, I was never bullied or called ‘burnt’, or compared to a monkey or a roach. I was never told by a boy that he didn’t like me because of my skin color. But, being told by people that I wasn’t black or I wasn’t black enough took a different toll on me.

“At a time when some girls my age wanted a boyfriend or bigger breasts, I wanted dark skin”

I remember going to a camp when I was younger, where I became friends with a girl who happened to be white. We had gotten close, well, as close as two 12-year-olds could be. She came to camp one day and told me that her father said we couldn’t be friends anymore. “My father told me that you’re still a nigger even though you look different. He said you’re the sneakiest kind of nigger because you never know what side you’re on.”

I let her walk away and I never spoke about it again. According to him I was the worst kind of nigger because I couldn’t pick a side. I never told my mom or anybody because I felt like I couldn’t. I never wanted to complain to the women in my family because I thought my struggles would never equate to theirs.

When I was in high school, I had never stared at my mother with as much admiration as I did when I started to hate my skin. Her melanin glowed to me and at a time when some girls my age wanted a boyfriend or bigger breasts, I wanted dark skin like my mother’s. I would often look at her and wonder how someone could call her skin ugly or unappealing when I looked at it and saw pure gold.

I grew up repulsed by the way my skin left visible acne scars all over my face and the way hair showed so easily on my body. My skin had became a sheet of just utter hate on my body that I wanted to tear off. I couldn’t tell anybody because it was unheard of, you know?

You never hear about a little light skinned girl wanting to be dark skinned. It’s always the other way around. It’s always the little dark girl picking the light skinned baby doll and believing that it is the most complete and fascinating thing in the world.

The girls I went to school with growing up didn’t like me. I never blamed them though. It wasn’t their fault rather what they were taught, maybe by their parents and then from their grandparents and then their grandparent’s parents. They were programmed to believe that my black was beautiful and their’s wasn’t. It’s crazy how they hated me due to my skin tone and due to preconceived notions about me ‘thinking I was all that’ when I would have traded skin tones with them in a heart beat.

Once I graduated form high school I attended a HBCU, still self-conflicted about my skin. I thought to myself that I would fit right in without a second look. See, at a HBCU the colors vary from white to the most chocolate brown and it doesn’t matter what color you are. In college, people are much more mature and educated.

There wasn’t blatant colorism but it still existed subtly. It was being in History 101, learning about the Bantus and speaking in class and everyone turning around with a face I knew all too well. The face is 50/50. It says “Are you even fully black? Why are you talking?” mixed with “The light skinned girl is woke and she is interested in something besides her own self? Wow.” It all comes down to this: Colorism is another thing that was not created but forced upon us.

“Hate has been so imbedded in us, blacks hate other blacks for being black.””

The white man separated us: darks and lights. We’re so caught up on these preconceived notions of each other, we fail to realize the big picture. Not to mention, black men sometimes don’t make it any better. As black women, we are pitted against each other based off of how we look: lightskin, darkskin, slim, thick, tall, short, weave, natural and the infamous good girl vs girl who shows a little more skin comparison.

Hate has been so imbedded in us, blacks hate other blacks for being black. We forget that as black women our struggles are much more alike than we admit. No one women’s struggle is less important than another one’s.

When it comes down to it we all share bloodlines with greats like Fanny Lou Hamer, Ella Baker, Dorothy Heights and Harriet Tubman, and each day we stand in the merit of their work. We progress and prosper while at the same time facing adversity, from being told we aren’t quite enough of this or too much of that. Despite these things and the various shades that we may come in we are all still black and are the similar in essence.

I grew to love the skin I’m in. All the acne scars and all the hair. I still look at my mother in amazement. I still watch her glow and I know that I glow too. That’s the great thing about black women, we all glow in different shades like crystallized stars across the darkest sky.

Know that your black will never be like her black. Your black is your black for a reason. You were coated in the most beautiful color so that you can be you. Look at the variety of shades of black women you see everyday with admiration and not spite. Her beauty does not take away from your own.

 
 

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Hot Mess Momma Blasts BLM

Hot Mess Momma goes off on BLM Movement confusing personal responsibility with reality. Her spout out is music to white conservative racist ears, as this misguided matron confuses the fact that there already are substantive efforts to reduce the violence level in her community with BLM which was formed in part to make the Police and Justice Departments more responsible to the communities they serve. Building back from a broken trust, which is of in itself a major contributor and enabler of violence.

South Carolina officer shoots unarmed white teen during pot bust

With the typical response from the right –

#WhiteLivesDon’tMatter to the Media: Unarmed White Teen Killed by Cops, Hardly Any Press Coverage

Pretending that resolving the issue of Police Accountability does absolutely nothing for anyone else in America, and second – in every single case of a black kid killed by a white policeman… the white right has sided with the Police, and consistently adheres to calling the black victim “thugs” portraying that they deserved their own demise.

Next, lest turn that bigot “black-on-black crime” meme around. 92% of white murders are white-on-white. Furthermore the white male suicide rate is 3-8 times higher than the total murder rate. So why aren’t the white people’s party taking responsibility for the more than 35,000 young white men who commit suicide a year? Why exactly haven’t they stepped up to stop this carnage?

For every two firearm murders you hear about, three other people kill themselves. As a recent “New York Times” article noted, “Nearly 20,000 of the 30,000 deaths from guns in the United States in 2010 were suicides, according to the most recent figures from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The national suicide rate has climbed by 12 percent since 2003, and suicide is the third-leading cause of death for teenagers.”

This poor lady needs someone to put the fuse back on…So she can turn on the light.

 

 

Illinois Mom’s Anti-Black Lives Matter Rant Goes Viral

Peggy Hubbard, an Illinois mother has a message for the #BlackLivesMatter movement and she took to Facebook to voice her concerns.

In a video posted to her Facebook page, Hubbard believes that the outraged towards the Aug. 19 St. Louis police shooting and subsequent protest of 18-year-old Mansur Ball-Bey who she calls a “thug”was misdirected. She compares the community’s concern over Ball-Bey’s shooting with the lack of outrage in the fatal shooting of 9-year-old Jamyla Bolden Aug. 18. Jamyla was shot in the chest while she sat inside her Ferguson, Mo. home finishing her homework. Bolden was killed by a stray bullet believed to have been fired during a drive-by shooting.

“Last night, who do you think they protested for? The thug, the criminal, because they’re howling, ‘police brutality,'” Hubbard ask during her rant posted Aug. 20 and has been viewed some 4 million times.  “Are you kidding me? Police brutality? How about black brutality? A little girl is dead. You say black lives matter? Her life mattered. Her dreams mattered. Her future mattered. Her promises mattered. It mattered.”

Hubbard served in the Navy, according to her Facebook page, and is a straight shooter who currently lives in Illinois but is originally from St. Louis, Missouri. In the video she notes that a single mother raised her and that she currently has a son in prison that she turned into the police.

“Let me tell you something. I got a kid locked up. Oh yeah, I put him there. I turned his ass in. Yes I did because I’m a strong black woman. I am a black mother. I told my children that if you f–k up, if you go to jail, I am not getting you out. You will stay there. You will do the time. I’m not putting nothing on your books, I am not coming to visit you. I ain’t sending you magazines. I’m not shit for you because I did everything I could for you out here and yet you chose to go in there. F–k you…..”

“If you don’t care about me and your father working and putting in time and effort to raise you and be there for you. And we took note of everything you were interested in. And yet your stupid ass ends up in there. Then you belong in there. Don’t drop the soap. That is what I told my son.”

Since the video’s release she notes that she has received some messages of encouragement and some calling her names not fit to print but, she adds in a recent Facebook post:

“Yes, I lashed out and gave it back. But, the high road is where I need to stay. I will not jump on your “hate white people!” I’m not built that way. I am not viable to my black community because I am not jumping on YOUR bandwagon to, hate the police, hate white people, scream racism, be “anti-government? Sorry to disappoint! But my momma did[sic] raise any fools. If your [sic] are standing around pointing blame? START WITH YOURSELVES! I speak from experience. You want “black lives matter?” Then START WITH YOUR BLACK LIFE!”

 
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Posted by on August 24, 2015 in Black Conservatives, Domestic terrorism

 

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