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“Big Hair” Rick Perry Sniffing Hairspray

17 Apr

BT went to college in Texas for a while. Not one of my more memorable life experiences.

Not being from Texas, I had to take “remedial Texas history” – which turned out to be Texas’ version of Texan-confederate-American History with a remedial dose of how rotten the Mexicans were. The professor walked in the first day, looking like one of those fat redneck Southern Sheriff stereotypes about to tell you “Boy, You in a heap a’ trouble” – with a drawl to match.

Right after introducing himself, he went on to declare the two rules in his class…

The first being that Texas was the only state in the Union which had been a sovereign country before joining the Union, with a clause that they could leave anytime they wanted. This question would be on the final exam, and to answer it otherwise was to fail the course…

Which brings up to Rick “Big Hair” Perry, the current Governor of Texas.

Now Big Hair would have been right, in the period between 1845 and 1846 – at which point the US attacked Mexico not only to prevent Texas’ re-annexation by Mexico but to steal California and much of what is now New Mexico. Texas was on their way to being stomped by Mexico’s superior Army and Navy. The reason for joining the US as a state was protection.

In 1861, Texas lost any claim to sovereignty when it joined the confederate states in seceding from the Union. Abraham Lincoln put paid to the idea that the Union was optional at great human cost. Immediately after declaring secession from the Union, confederate loyalists in north Texas rounded up over 200 “Union Sympathizers”, hanging 40 after show trials, while mobs lynched a number of others…

Tainted Breeze: The Great Hanging at Gainesville, Texas, 1862

If you want to get an understanding of the Bushit’s “For us or Against Us” language, and the whole “National Security” farce–  and where it came from – this is a good read.

Texas petitioned the Supreme Court in 1869 in Texas vs. White. The Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that it was illegal for states to secede.

Of historical note, the final “battle” of the Civil War was fought in Texas, near Brownsville – and is called the Battle of Palmito Ranch. It wasn’t really much of a battle in terms of what happened in the east, with only about 700-800 troops involved on both sides. The Texas confederates were well aware that Lee had been defeated and had surrendered at Appomattox, and that Sherman had crushed the deep South – but wished to fight on. The Union Offiers decided to press the issue. The Union Troops include 250 men of the 62nd Colored Infantry. Southerners claim a victory, although the battle was a stalemate.

As to “Big Hair” – you swore this Oath of Office, which includes –

I, _________, do solemnly swear (or affirm), that I will faithfully execute the duties of the office of __________________ of the State of Texas, and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States and of this State, so help me God.

What you are doing now is Treason, Big Hair.

Oh, the second thing in the class?

“Mi-norities and coloreds don’t do well in my class.”

I got a C-, based on a very grudgingly “given” A on a well researched and meticulously documented paper about how the Cavalry saving white Texan’s bacon from the Comanche and Apache were actually the  Buffalo Soldiers who eventually settled in West Texas – and not the popular white image portrayed on TV and the Movies by John Wayne…

Not well…Indeed.

 
 

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