Florida Again – Road Rage Hillbilly Vasectomy

 

Some years ago when I used to regularly target shoot at a range, I noticed over a period of several months that they had 10-15 used pistols made by a popular manufacturer in the cabinet for sale. The pistols were a compact “carry” model identical to that carried by some police departments, just about 1//2 the size.  when you see a large number of most any product in the “Return bin” it usually means there is a defect or quality problem.

Asked the friendly salesman about that seeming discrepancy, as the manufacturer had a good reputation for producing quality product. Seems that the safety on both the bigger an smaller model were in the same place. Which, it turns out was fine when the gun was carried in a holster like that used by the military or police. When the smaller “carry” model was tucked under the belt though, it seems that the safety was exactly in the wrong place and would flip to the fire position when puled out of a trouser waistband. The result was a fairly prolific series of what I euphemistically all “Hillbilly Vasectomies”  as a result of self emasculation by gun. .. This one kind of makes you wonder …

Man shoots self in road-rage incident on I-4

Where an Interstate-4 motorist shot himself in a road-rage incident today remained in question for hours as police and sheriff’s deputies tried to determine who should investigate.

Orlando police first treated the shooting as their case about 11:30 a.m. when the man pulled off the highway and stopped his white BMW sedan at the Princeton Street exit near College Parkand Florida Hospital, records show.

Within an hour, police turned the case over to the Seminole County Sheriff’s Office believing the shooting happened there.

But the investigation was turned over again about 1:15 p.m. to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office in the belief the shooting happened south of the Seminole Countyline.

The confusion apparently stemmed from Richard Coles, the wounded motorist who was undergoing treatment for his injury, according to the sheriff’s office.

“He was taken to local hospital where he has declined to prosecute and no longer wishes to speak with investigators,” sheriff’s spokesman Jeff Williamson wrote.

Details remain few but Coles, 36, told Orlando police he had been driving toward Orlando when another motorist brandished a gun over an undisclosed incident, according to police.

Feeling threatened, the man grabbed his own gun and it fired. The bullet struck one of the man’s legs causing a non-life threatening wound, said Orlando police Sgt. Jim Young.

Police officers and sheriff’s deputies have not located witnesses to what precipitated the shooting, according to the sheriff’s office.

 

Mounties Flummoxed By Maple Syrup Hijacking!

Some enterprising thieves have stolen millions of pounds of…

Maple Syrup!

Gettin’ crazy out there y’all!

Police probing Quebec maple syrup heist worth up to $30-million

Quebec police are on the hunt for a sticky-fingered thief after millions of dollars of maple syrup vanished from a Quebec warehouse.

The theft was discovered during a routine inventory check last week at the St-Louis-de-Blandford warehouse, where the syrup is being held temporarily. The Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers, which is responsible for the global strategic maple syrup reserve, initially kept the news quiet, hoping it would help police solve the crime quickly.

About 10 million pounds of syrup was stored at the site, at a value of more than $30-million.

Anne-Marie Granger Godbout, executive director of the federation, said the organization is still trying to determine how much is missing and declined to offer an estimate. But a spokesman from the Sureté du Québec said the loss was significant.

“We know that it’s millions of dollars that was stolen,” said Sergeant Richard Gagné. “It’s a very large amount.”

All of the maple syrup inventories are fully insured, according to the federation, so there will be no loss to producers.

Ms. Granger Godbout said the theft shouldn’t put the global supply of maple syrup at risk, but warned it could allow the thief to undercut legitimate producers. The federation represents about 10,000 maple syrup producers in Quebec. “Obviously those people stole the maple syrup to sell it somewhere,” she said. “If it’s a big volume, it could be very harmful for the maple syrup industry. The companies that are working in this industry will have to compete with some company that didn’t pay for the maple syrup.”

Smackwater Jack’s Squirt Gun

This one is downright strange.  Seems to me that there is a lot of information on the Internet, including YouTube videos, of what happens when a gun explodes.  While there are plastic guns – they are pretty carefully designed not to explode when fired. One has to assume the unsuccessful designs never made it to market – because many of the unsuccessful designers are no longer with us. That self inflicted Darwin – self elimination from the gene pool thing again…

Man Makes Shotgun Out of Super Soaker

Among the 100 or so guns confiscated in southeast Fresno over the last three months, Sergeant Mark Hudson says one in particular certainly stands out.

“It’s dangerous for those officers being out on the street to see something like this obviously,” Hudson said.

Fresno Police say 54-year-old Randy Smith was walking in the area of Barton and Nevada on Saturday night.

He had a “Super Soaker” water gun hanging around his neck from a sling.

Normally, officers might not think much of it.

But police say they were just briefed about people turning toys into shotguns.

So they stopped Smith, and sure enough, instead of water inside his gun, he had a real shotgun shell.

“He took the Super Soaker apart, was able to fashion a barrel to where he was able to make what’s considered a zip gun, where you can fire one round through it. In this case it was a 20 gauge shotgun shell,” Hudson said.

“The guy that made that gun, he probably got maybe $30 worth of parts,” Bill Mayfield, who works at Gilmay Guns in Fresno, said.

Mayfield says it doesn’t take a gunsmith to make something like this.

But it’s definitely not a smart move.

“The firearms cartridge with the gun powder is an explosive. The device they’re building has to be able to contain the pressure of that explosion,” Mayfield said. “So they’re just relying on, maybe this will hold up. Well, you could be putting a gun next to your head, or you could be putting a hand grenade next to your head.”

Smith faces a laundry list of charges, including being a convicted felon in possession of ammunition, a felon in possession of a firearm, manufacture of an illegal weapon and a misdemeanor warrant.

An Insurance Guy’s Nightmare

Wow… a $500,000 Ferrari…

So what sort of deductible do you get on that?

This one apparently involved eight Ferraris, three Mercedes Benzes,  a Lamborghini Diablo, and a rare Nissan GTR Skyline… And talk about being on the road at the wrong time and place…A Toyota Prius!

Astonishing accident involving eight Ferraris ‘world’s most expensive car crash’

A fleet of high-performance cars, including eight Ferraris, has been involved in one of the most expensive accidents in history after an astonishing multi-car pile-up in Japan.

Police said three Mercedes Benz cars and a Lamborghini Diablo were also involved in the massive crash at the weekend on the Chugoku Expressway, in the country’s south-west.

Witnesses reported hearing a “tremendous noise” just a few moments before the accident on the Yamaguchi prefecture highway amid terrible driving conditions.

While the majority of the 14 vehicles – which also included a Japanese supercar Nissan GT-R Skyline and a Toyota Prius – were travelling along the Osaka Prefecture-bound bended lane at least one Mercedes CL600 was driving in the opposite direction.

Miraculously, none of drivers – the majority of whom are reported to be foreign car enthusiasts – were seriously hurt in the wreckage but the bill is still bound to be painful nonetheless.

Such was the severity of the damage, several of the luxury cars have been written off, leaving their owners with the nightmare scenario of seeing their prized possessions turned into expensive scrap metal.

The total damage bill is expected to hit several million pounds. A new Ferrari 355 retails for several hundred thousand pounds.

The other Ferrari models understood to have been involved in the pile-up include a F512, F355, F430 and a F360.

Occupy Wall-Mart? Black Friday Shopper Pepper Sprays Other Shoppers

Inspired by UC Davis Police, apparently a shopper in Wal-Mart figured out a way to beat the crowds…

Customers hit by pepper spray at Wal-Mart describe scene of chaos

Matthew Lopez went to the Wal-Mart in Porter Ranch on Thursday night for the Black Friday sale but instead was caught in a pepper-spray attack by a woman who authorities said was “competitive shopping.”

Lopez described a chaotic scene in the San Fernando Valley store among shoppers looking for video games soon after the sale began.

“I heard screaming and I heard yelling,” said Lopez, 18. “Moments later, my throat stung. I was coughing really bad and watering up.”

Lopez said customers were already in the store when a whistle signaled the start of the Black Friday sale at 10 p.m., sending shoppers hurtling in search of deeply discounted items.

Lopez said that by the time he arrived at the video games, the display had been torn down. Employees attempted to hold back the scrum of shoppers and pick up merchandise even as customers trampled the video games and DVDs strewn on the floor.

“It was absolutely crazy,” he said.

Another customer said screams erupted after about 100 people waiting in line to snag Xbox gaming consoles and Wii video games got into a shoving match.

Alejandra Seminario, 24, said she was waiting in line to grab some toys at the store around 9:55 p.m. when people the next aisle over started shouting and ripping at the plastic wrap encasing gaming consoles, which was supposed to be opened at 10 p.m.

“People started screaming, pulling and pushing each other, and then the whole area filled up with pepper spray,” the Sylmar resident said. “I guess what triggered it was people started pulling the plastic off the pallets and then shoving and bombarding the display of games. It started with people pushing and screaming because they were getting shoved onto the boxes.”

The pepper spray wafted through the air, Seminario said, and she breathed some in and started coughing. Her face also started itching.

“I did not want to get involved. I was too scared. I just stayed in the toy aisle,” she said.

By the time she and her husband, 27-year-old Cesar Seminario, got to the cash register 20 minutes later with a Wii gaming console and some Barbie dolls, the air was still smelling of pepper spray, she said.

Wal-Mart employees were taking statements near the front of the store from about eight customers who had been pepper-sprayed, Seminario said. “After we paid, we saw five that were in really bad shape,” she said. “They had been sprayed in the face, it looked like, and they had swelling of the face, really extreme swelling of face, redness, coughing.”

Nakeasha Contreras, 20, of North Hollywood, said she arrived at midnight and hadn’t heard what happened. Even if she had, she said, she wouldn’t have minded: “I don’t care. I’m still getting my TV. I’ve never seen Wal-Mart so crazy, but I guess it could have been worse.”

Joseph Poulose, who said he was hit with the spray near the DVD and video games display, criticized the store for failing to control the crowds.

“There were way too many people in a building that size. Every aisle was full,” he said. Customers were stomping on photo frames and other items on the floor, said Poulose, who tried to protect his pregnant wife from the throng of shoppers inside.

“It was definitely the worst Black Friday I’ve ever experienced,” he said.

More of That “Booty Will Make You Stupid”

Fresh from scietific studies that “Booty Will Affect Your Mind – And Hers” comes world class evidence of Booty Stoopidity…

Tire inflator/sealer? I mean – if she runs off with the Michelin Man… You now know why.

Police arrest man accused in botched cosmetic procedure

 A south Florida resident was arrested this week after police allege he practiced medicine without a license, injecting a patient’s buttocks with a “cocktail of chemicals” for cosmetic purposes.

The so-called cocktail consisted of cement, tire sealant, super glue and mineral oil, according to a police statement.

Police say the incision was later sealed with super glue.

“They agreed on a price of $700 … to enhance her buttocks,” Miami Gardens Police Sgt. Bill Bamford told CNN affiliate WPLG.

Soon after the May procedure, the patient “had serious complications” and suffered from “very serious pains in her abdomen and her body,” likely stemming from the procedure, he added.

The patient was then hospitalized at a nearby medical center and listed in serious condition, the statement said. Police did not disclose the current condition of the patient.

The police statement identified the suspect only by his last name, Morris, though CNN affiliate WPLG disclosed his full name, citing police, as Oneal Ron Morris, 30.

“We might have additional victims in our community that could be afraid to come forward with their report fearing to be penalized,” Capt. Ralph Suarez said. “We urge those victims to come forward if they have been the victim of this subject. Those victims have not done anything illegal and they should not be afraid to come forward.”

WPLG reported Morris has been released on $15,500 bond.

 

Women Threatens to Blow Up Airplanes – Because Husband is Working!

Damn… And here half the world is getting ready to blow up because folks don’t have jobs!

This woman definitely slept though a few of those “Wife School” classes. You know the one where thy go through the “no job, no rent…no hmmmmmm” training…

In America today, somebody better sit this stupid woman down and explain how she better be happy her man…

Has a job.

Upset wife threatens to blow up planes

LEE COUNTY, FL -

The Lee County Port Authority has released a recording of a phone call between the LCPA communications center and a woman who is accused of threatening to blow up planes because she was upset her husband was working overnight.

Port Authority Police allege Soraya Billinge threatened to blow up planes because she was unhappy with her husband’s work schedule.

Billinge was arrested and charged with making a bomb threat.

Here is a transcript of the call:

Operator: Airport Communications Sabine how may I help you?
Caller: Yes, actually my husband is in the building, he’s British and he was told to work there from like 9 o’clock to 2 o’clock in the morning and I don’t want him working over there and I can’t get in contact with people over there at the Delta Airline area.
Operator: What exactly do you want me to do, ma’am?
Caller: I want them to let go of my husband.
Operator: Okay, who is ‘them’?
Caller: Who?  Delta Airlines.
Operator: You need to get in touch with them…
Caller: That is Delta Airlines at the airport.
Operator: Okay, you’re not speaking to Delta Airlines, ma’am you’re speaking to Lee County Port Authority Communications Center.  If you have a question in regards to Delta Airlines, you need to call them.
Caller: I called them, and, what is their number, though?  Cause, I thought, you know, I’ll just get (unintelligible) to deport my husband if this is just a trick, you know.
Operator: Ma’am, you can’t go through the (unintelligible), there is nothing I can do for you at this point.
Caller: Okay, but I don’t want my husband working at the airport.
Operator: You need to discuss that with him, not with me.
Caller: Okay, I’ll (unintelligible) blow up a plane, then.
Operator: Okay, okay.
Caller: I’ll blow it because ten planes..

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