On Fat Sistas

This guy has never been one to date fat women. That doesn’t mean a few age appropriate pounds in women my age – but it does mean once the scales tip above about 150…

I’m headed for the hills.

I am currently 5’7″ and 154 lbs. In High School and College I wrestled at between 113 and 127 lbs. So I grew up pretty skinny.

Now I know some of the brothers out there like fat women. And some of the ladies I know tipping over 200 don’t seem to be experiencing any shortage of interested men.  But far to many of these same women seem to be suffering from diabetes.

Interesting article here -

Black Women and Fat

FOUR out of five black women are seriously overweight. One out of four middle-aged black women has diabetes. With $174 billion a year spent on diabetes-related illness in America and obesity quickly overtaking smoking as a cause of cancer deaths, it is past time to try something new.

What we need is a body-culture revolution in black America. Why? Because too many experts who are involved in the discussion of obesity don’t understand something crucial about black women and fat: many black women are fat because we want to be.

The black poet Lucille Clifton’s 1987 poem “Homage to My Hips” begins with the boast, “These hips are big hips.” She establishes big black hips as something a woman would want to have and a man would desire. She wasn’t the first or the only one to reflect this community knowledge. Twenty years before, in 1967, Joe Tex, a black Texan, dominated the radio airwaves across black America with a song he wrote and recorded, “Skinny Legs and All.” One of his lines haunts me to this day: “some man, somewhere who’ll take you baby, skinny legs and all.” For me, it still seems almost an impossibility.

Chemically, in its ability to promote disease, black fat may be the same as white fat. Culturally it is not.

How many white girls in the ’60s grew up praying for fat thighs? I know I did. I asked God to give me big thighs like my dancing teacher, Diane. There was no way I wanted to look like Twiggy, the white model whose boy-like build was the dream of white girls. Not with Joe Tex ringing in my ears.

How many middle-aged white women fear their husbands will find them less attractive if their weight drops to less than 200 pounds? I have yet to meet one.

Thicke Sisters Happier

Keeping a positive self image with all the isht that has been unloaded on black women over the centuries in America is indeed a miracle of resilience. There is a difference between “Thicke” and “fat” though…

Black women heavier and happier with their bodies than white women, poll finds

In the pre-dawn darkness, the gym doors close, and the black women start to move. House versions of Whitney Houston’s “I’m Every Woman,” and Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” blare from speakers as the 30 or so women, most with curves, not angles, grab their jump ropes at the L.A. Fitness club in Capitol Heights. They double-time it as fitness instructor Michelle Gibson counts them down from the front of the class.

“Four more, three more, two more, one!” she yells, twirling her rope. She jumps faster and faster until the rope and her sneakers blur on the hardwood. Her ample bosom strains against the top of her sequined half-camisole.

“Show-off!” yells a woman from the back as Gibson laughs. She demonstrates hinge-kicks high above her own head, and sweat darkens the waistband of the fitted black pants that cling to the uber-roundness of her bottom. “Fight for your sexy!” she commands her class.

No one in this boot camp works out to be model thin. And nearly to a person, they reject any notion that they should, or that that standard is even cute. Or realistic. Or mentally healthy. That’s especially true of Gibson, 41, who has been a fitness instructor for 12 years, though you wouldn’t necessarily know it by looking at her.

Like many black women, Gibson describes her 5-foot-4, size 14-plus physique as “thick,” and considers herself ultra-feminine — no matter what the mainstream culture has to say about it.

She’s one of the most full-figured women in the gym, but she’s in love with her body. And it’s a sentiment that syncs perfectly with a recent survey conducted by The Washington Post and the Kaiser Family Foundation that focused on African American women. The poll found that although black women are heavier than their white counterparts, they report having appreciably higher levels of self-esteem. Although 41 percent of average-sized or thin white women report having high self-esteem, that figure was 66 percent among black women considered by government standards to be overweight or obese.

This is not news to Gibson or the other women in her morning boot camp class. They grew up listening to songs like the Commodores’s “Brick House” and hearing relatives extol the virtues of “big legs” and women with meat on their bones.

The notion that all women must be culled into a single little-bitty aesthetic is just one more tyranny, they say. And black women have tools for resisting tyranny, especially from a mainstream culture that has historically presented them negatively, or not at all.

Freed from that high-powered media gaze, generations of black women have fashioned their own definitions of beauty with major assists from literature and music — and help from their friends.

At this gym in Capitol Heights at the crack of dawn, and in myriad other places, that thinking has made black women happier with their bodies than white women in many ways. And in some ways, it’s put them on the slippery slope toward higher rates of obesity…

The Black Women of Occupy Wall Street

Yes there are black folks in the Occupy Movement – including Occupy Wall Street, despite the disparagement by conservatives that the movement is made up of privileged white kids. This video alone has more black folks than the entire Glenn Beck Tea Bagger rally on the mall last year on MLK’s Birthday.

The Black Women of Occupy Wall Street, posted with vodpod

A “Becky” Problem…Black Women Hot over Pepsi Superbowl Ad

Hmmmm… Seems that this Pepsi commercial shown during the Super Bowl has the ladies hot and bothered…

Pepsi Superbowl Ad Controversy, posted with vodpod

What I find interesting is MSNBC’s choice of black women to talk about this. Sophia Nelson, a Black Republican is a frequent contributor to Booker Rising, a black conservative site.

Somehow, I think no matter which way you changed the races of the actors – that can of Pepsi would have been flying…

The Church and Black Womens Marraige

Not really a surprise here. Early on in computer dating I found a sister who seemed to fit the bill. Attractive, intelligent, extremely well dressed, and well educated. The conversation quickly moved to the Religion part, where she announced she only dated men with the spirit in them. End of that story.

More than one of the guys here has noted the same thing. There is a huge differential between the number of black men attending, especially evangelical churches and women. Church lady may be fine, but that highly structured belief set may be a giant red stop light to a majority of the guys who might be interested. Especially if that church is decidedly hostile to those who don’t follow it’s path.

Does the black church keep black women single?

Legs covered in skin-toned stockings, her skirt crisp to the knee, Patty Davis slips on the black heels she has shined for the day.

“Got to look good in the Lord’s house,” she says as she spritzes her neck with White Diamonds perfume and exits her black Lincoln Town Car.

Davis, 46, of Union City, Georgia, has attended African Methodist Episcopal churches since before she could crawl. She sits proudly in the pew every Sunday for service and is among the first to arrive for bible study each Wednesday.

She moves swiftly, with confidence, a weathered Bible clutched in her right hand, the day’s passages dog-eared and highlighted. She’s the type of woman who can recite scriptures with ease, her love of faith evident in her speech.

“Every day is a blessed day for me,” she says. “Jesus is the No. 1 man in my life and any man who wants me must seek me through Him.”

The unmarried Georgia native is a committed follower of the Christian faith, striving to live and breathe the gospel in her daily life. Yet, according to relationship advice columnist Deborrah Cooper, it is this devout style of belief and attachment to the black church that is keeping black women like Davis — single and lonely.

Whats the Deal With White Women and Dogs?

Sisters have their idiosyncrasies, wanting to be known as “Divas” yet treated like “Queens”…

And white women have their dogs.

Go on any dating site, and black women will have one or two shots of themselves typically out of focus, taken with a cameraphone…

And white women will have one shot of themselves…

And 14 pictures of their dog(s).

Kinda lets a guy know where exactly he ranks in the relationship.

Might want to keep your pants on there brother, just in case Fido, pissed off at having to share attention…

Starts thinking your man parts look like walking Kibbles and Bits.

The $3 Million Mutt

Heiress Duped Into Leaving Millions to Dogs, Son Claims

The son of the late heiress Gail Posner says his mother was duped into writing a will that gave away nearly $30 million to her staff and her pampered dogs while leaving him with only $1 million.

Posner, the daughter of the late real estate mogul Victor Posner, died of cancer at the age of 67 in March. She left $26 million to her bodyguards, maids and personal trainer, and a $3 million trust to ensure that her chihuahuas, including a Cartier-wearing canine named Conchita, can continue their decadent lifestyle. One bodyguard alone got $10 million. Millions more went to charity.

UK “Vibe” – American rapper says that black women should “bow down” to black men

This is going to be a war…

James B. Janknegt's "It's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate"

American rapper says that black women should “bow down” to black men

Now, Rappers aren’t exactly known as the most intelligent folks in the world. Neither are they exactly known for their humanity. So you have to question exactly what kind of black woman is out there after some dude whose every other word is “B0708″ or “Ho” and how he is going to “cap” somebody…

Much less the small weenie syndrome of having to dominate a woman to feel like a man.

On with the spiel -

RAPPER SLIM Thug has sparked controversy in America over his shocking statements about black women.

In this month’s issue of ‘Vibe’, the rapper says that black women need to lower their standards if they want to be successful in love and ‘bow down’ to their man in order to maintain a successful relationship.

“Most single black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful black men are kind of extinct… It’s hard to find us, so black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for their man more…” he said.

CDC Claims Black Women Herpes Study Was Accurate, Dr. Malebranche Was Wrong

We got a Medical Food-Fight going here…Dueling Doctors. Hat Tip – Hip Hop Wired

Dueling Doctors, Dueling Studies

Update: CDC Issues Statement On “½ Of All Black Women Have Genital Herpes” Report

Amid growing controversy, the Center for Disease Control has contacted HipHopWired directly to release a statement on their report that 48% of all Black women have genital herpes.

In an interview with The Root, Dr. John Douglas, the director of the division of STD Prevention at the National Center for HIV, STD and TB Prevention at the CDC made a statement saying that more Black people are included in their study saying,

“African Americans are also oversampled to make the study more representative.”

He also says the CDC stands firmly behind their findings and that the numbers have remained relatively consistent.

“The herpes numbers for black women have remained relatively the same over several years at 46 percent to 51 percent. In the 1988-94 NHANES sample, the prevalence of herpes among black women was 51.3 percent, in the 2004 survey the number was 46.1 percent. That places the current rate–48 percent–right in the middle. NHANES is less than perfect, but without a doubt the best that we have.”

The CDC stands behind Dr. John Douglas and his words, they do not however agree with Dr. David Malebranche an assistant professor at Emory whose research focuses on STDs in African Americans.

Dr. Malebranche told The Root, quote:

“These women were only tested for antibodies to the HSV-2 virus. This means that they have been exposed to the herpes virus, but it does not mean that these women have actually developed the disease or have active herpes. In fact, they may never develop active herpes.”

To further make their point, the CDC has released the following statement to HipHopWired making things clear.

“We at CDC want to make it clear that CDC has not changed its position on the recently released HSV-2 data and firmly stands by the important findings of that report based on the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey – or NHANES — a nationally representative survey of the U.S. household population that assesses a broad range of health issues

2)      We also want to make it clear that Dr. David Malebranche, a researcher at Emory University is not a CDC physician or representative and that any comments by Dr. Malebranche cannot be attributed to CDC.

3)      It is important to note, that while these findings – particularly the data regarding HSV-2 prevalence among black women – may be startling – they are, in fact, an accurate representation of the prevalence of HSV infection in this population.  It is important to note that individuals who test positive for herpes antibodies are in fact, infected.  Even without symptoms, infected individuals can spread this lifelong infection to others. The reason for informing the public generally, and African American communities specifically, about this data is so that individuals can take the necessary steps to protect themselves, their partners and their children as well as reduce transmission to others.

4)      Finally, it is not acceptable that African-Americans with even low levels of risk behavior face such a high risk of infection, and it is important that they have the information needed to reduce that risk. This latest analysis emphasizes that we can’t afford to be complacent about this infection. Any information that minimizes the severity of this public health challenge does us all a disservice.”

CDC Admits Report on Black Women With STDs – “Inaccurate”

Hat tip – NewsOne and The Root

CDC’s shocking report last month that nearly half of all black women were infected with Herpes turns out to have a few problems. It appears that the data group utilized in the survey was limited to one economic strata, with a high incidence of drug use. Ergo, what the study did was to select 890 poor black women from an urban environment instead of selecting a representative sample across economic lines.

The second issue is that the study only looked at exposure to the virus, which doesn’t necessarily mean that the women in the study would develop the disease. As such, there wasn’t a count of women who actually had developed Herpes.

Sometimes "Random Selection" Isn't So Random

Behind the Herpes Numbers

The March reports of sky-high levels of the genital herpes virus among black women set off a firestorm of disbelief and recrimination. The numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) gave many black women an all-too-familiar feeling: shock, concern and an overwhelming sense of fatigue in the face of yet another study bringing bad news and fear.

African-American men and women often seem to be under siege when it comes to the ongoing flood of research trumpeting our higher rates of nearly everything, including sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). No doubt, disparities exist, but in this case, it’s reasonable to take a step back from the anger and take a closer look at what the statistics are really telling us.

Wired Dating Becomes Source For Black Women

Hat Tip – The Grio

The black community is increasingly educated, mobile, and wired.

Couple of hints here, from BTx3′s viewpoint, for the ladies on how to improve those responses below -

African-American women seek ‘interactive’ route to Mr. Right

Most women know it’s hard to find love, but black women specifically may be looking in all the wrong places. The issue of black women having to look outside of their race if they wanted to even consider getting married, mostly due to the lack available African-American men, and the claim that their standards need to be lowered by Steve Harvey himself made waves earlier in the year by a feature on ABC. The statistic that 42 percent of Black women are single, double that of White women struck a nerve with many Black women and triggered a flood of both outraged and confirming op-eds by Black women online.

What most overlooked is where, realistically, you may find your potential mate. Chances are it isn’t in church and niche online dating may be exactly what the doctor ordered. While most women would opt to try household names in online dating like Match.com a study by OKCupid revealed this:

Black women have a particularly difficult time finding partners on online dating sites. OKCupid.com says that it’s data confirms that “men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race–including other blacks–singles them out for the cold shoulder.”

It May Be Cheaper to Keep Her… But She’s Poorer Without Him

The net worth of the average, single black woman?

$5.

This from a recent study – graphic here.

Study finds median wealth for single black women at $5

Women of all races bring home less income and own fewer assets, on average, than men of the same race, but for single black women the disparities are so overwhelmingly great that even in their prime working years their median wealth amounts to only $5.In a groundbreaking report released Monday by a leading economic research group, social scientists turned a spotlight on the grave financial challenges facing an often overlooked group of women, many of whom could not take an unpaid sick day or repair a major appliance without going into debt.

“It’s rather shocking,” said Meizhu Lui, director of the Closing the Gap Initiative based in Oakland, Calif., who contributed to the report “Lifting as We Climb: Women of Color, Wealth and America’s Future.”

Among the most startling revelations in the wealth data is that while single white women in the prime of their working years (ages 36 to 49) have a median wealth of $42,600 (still only 61 percent of their single white male counterparts), the median wealth for single black women is only $5.“Even for those of us who have been looking at the wealth gap for a while, we were shocked and amazed at how little women of color have,” Ms. Lui said.

Herpes In The Black Community

These are shocking figures.

Nearly Half of Black Women Have Herpes

The latest news out of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is very troubling, to say the least.

A jaw-dropping 48 percent of black women between ages 14 and 49 have the virus which causes genital herpes, says the federal agency. Blacks in general are more than three times as likely as whites to have herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2) (39.2 percent vs. 12.3 percent).

Why is it so much higher among black women? It is likely that biological factors make women more susceptible to genital herpes than men, says the CDC. American women in general are nearly twice as likely as men to be infected (21 percent vs. 11 percent). Then add on top of that socioeconomic factors that negatively affect blacks’ general state of health, and it’s no surprise that black women draw the short straw when it comes to getting genital herpes.

What’s worse, most don’t even know they’ve drawn that short straw. Up to 80 percent of genital herpes infections in the United States are undiagnosed. “Many individuals are transmitting herpes to others without even knowing it,” said John M. Douglas Jr., director of CDC’s division of STD prevention. “It is important that persons with symptoms suggestive of herpes-especially recurrent sores in the genital area-seek clinical care to determine if these symptoms may be due to herpes and might benefit from treatment.”

Sores aren’t the only sign you’ve been infected, and many people don’t even experience them. Redness and itching are other symptoms, and the disease can still be transmitted without visible sores.

//

The high rate of genital herpes infections among blacks may contribute toward the high rate of HIV in the black community by making transmission easier, says the CDC.

Single Black Women on Russian TV

It would appear the plight of single black women has even reached the human interest news of Russian Television -

Being a SBM who has entered the dating market in the last few months, one of the things that I have noticed is that there is a huge difference in attitudes and outlook between black women in their 50′s, 40′s and 30′s. While a lot of people have discussed the impact of the disintegration of the family unit on black males, one needs to ask if those same forces may not have had an impact, albeit more subtle, on black women.

An introduction to a black woman is all too often like a financial transaction. To a “successful” black man who has punched those tickets, that discussion can be very offputting, to a brother who hasn’t, it can often be belittling. I’ve certainly heard stories from black women about black men vastly inflating their jobs and accomplishments – but there seems to be little recognition as to why these guys may feel the need to do so, other than the broad brush stereotype that they are “players”.

If you take away the big money sports stars and actors, whose fame and fortune are likely to attract legions of Bimbos – and just look at professional level, educated black men with careers…

Then the question becomes, in consideration that it’s the 21st century and the “forbidden fruit” dynamic is dead as a doornail – what is it White, Hispanic, and Asian women are doing to grab such a significant portion of these black males?

Here’s a hint – It’s not the sex.

Single black women should end the blame game

Hat Tip - The Grio

This is part of an opinion piece by Dr. Boyce Watkins dealing with the falling marriage numbers in the black community. For the whole thing – go here.

Watkins points out that while black men have been assigned much of the blame, the reality is that black women share much more of the blame than is typically assigned to them. He questions the “common wisdom” – even that voiced by President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder…

Having recently gone back on the market myself, I have to admit to one huge pet peeve. Trying to make an introduction and speak to an attractive black woman can be a minefield – no matter how politely approached, or well accoutered a guy is. Sisters are experts at the shoot down. Now – that’s not a one way thing, in that I’ve certainly seen some low class hardheads come with some pretty crude crap, after being shot down with a crude intro, and maybe that, in part – poisons the market. However, that iron wall shuts down conversation at any level.

Second, no guy in his right mind wants anything to do with a woman describing herself as a “Diva”. Don’t need a “Queen” either. And any guy who thinks he’s going to be a “King” in a household with any woman worth her salt deserves what he gets, which is almost always a lot of frustration. Maybe if a few more folks valued the concept of partnership instead of primitive ego gratification?

To Dr. Watkin’s critique -

I often wonder if there is more to the black relationships story than that. Here are some thoughts to consider:

1) Whites aren’t staying married either, so this is not just solely a black issue. The next time Barack Obama gives a speech about black men “behaving like little boys” because they don’t live with their children, I would love to see him give that same speech to the millions of divorcees in white America. Given that roughly 50% of white marriages end in divorce, we can’t presume that black people create the only dysfunctional families in America. All of America is turning away from marriage, and that’s just a fact.

2) Are men the only ones to blame here? When I watched the beautiful women on the ABC special who felt that they could never find a husband, I heard some of my educated, fully employed male friends say, “I’d marry any one of them right now!” Over the years, I’ve seen many women pass over good men who would make excellent husband/boyfriend/baby daddy material. (Sorry, I hold no ill will toward baby’s daddies – I only care about love, not labels).

Those Eligible Black Women

Professional black women remain single much longer than their white counterparts. Is it the shortage of eligible black men due to dysfunctions in the black community – or are black women’s standards impossibly high? This is an interesting discussion by 60 Minutes Atlanta, with Steve Harvey -